Our Next Chapter Begins

People do not quit playing because they grow old;

they grow old because they quit playing.

                                        - Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

April 2015

In 2015,  after three decades with a Fortune 50 corporation, we retired. We’re grateful for all our careers provided us, we’ll hold on tightly to many wonderful friendships that have grown over the years, and we’re already galloping into our new lives.

  

Bay St. Louis 

We launched a complete renovation of our 110-year-old home (“Fais Do Do”, meaning a Cajun dance party) in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. Located just 40 miles from the French Quarter, Bay St. Louis is the traditional beach cottage community for New Orleans families. We also purchased the small cottage next door and are renovating it to host family and friends. After decades of global travel and corporate relocations we’re ready to set down local roots. Sailing, fishing, the Mockingbird café – we’ll have a vibrant home base in retirement with lots of Cajun dance parties. 

 Camino de Santiago de Compostela

How to transition from work careers into retirement? Our answer is by walking 500 miles. While our houses in Bay St. Louis are being renovated, we’ll be walking an average of 13 miles every day from late April until early June from the south of France over the Pyrenees and across Spain’s northern coast. It’s a Christian pilgrimage that’s been done continuously since the 9th century. Google “Camino de Santiago de Campostela” or “The Way of St. James” if you’d like to know more. 

Our Next Chapter



We have three lovely daughters married to men we adore. 
Six grandchildren help make our lives very complete. 

Bay St. Louis is now home, and we’ll be in Colorado and Europe a lot. We’ll engage the world through civic, fraternal, business, cultural,religious, and philanthropic interests. 

Our plan is to explore our passions, keep learning, and make new commitments as we evolve into new lives that are far different (and differently rewarding) from today.

We bridged, kedged, and Kondo’ed ….

Building bridges …. We began planning our retirement about five years ago with a weekend workshop at the Center for Creative Retirement in Asheville, NC.  Rather than finances and savings, it was all about “How am I going to use this gift of time and freedom that retirement affords?’’ A key concept was ‘building bridges’, meaning in the years prior to retirement one should transition toward life interests that may have been constrained during our working years. 

One of Ning’s bridges was becoming a Certified Gallup StrengthsFinder Coach so that in retirement she can help individuals and groups capitalize on their God-given talents. For John it was learning to sail while in Milwaukee with the goal of sailing out of the Bay-Waveland Yacht Club in retirement.

Kedging ….. A highly recommended book at the Asheville workshop was “Younger Next Year.” It promotes an active senior lifestyle with focus on health and exercise. The authors introduce the concept of “kedging.” A sailing ship can be maneuvered by rowing an anchor out a ways from the ship, dropping it, and then hauling (kedging) on the anchor line to move the ship in the intended direction. In life, kedging means setting goals and taking action to pull oneself forward. We made a huge kedge when we dropped our anchor in Bay St. Louis, MS, and began pulling ourselves toward our new home base in retirement. 

Kondo’ing …. There’s a current bestseller by Marie Kondo about purging one’s belongings to create to a simpler, calmer life.  With all of our corporate moves over the years we thought we were living fairly lean in our Milwaukee apartment. But when we adopted the Kondo method of pulling every single thing out of every closet, drawer, and shelf, grouping them, and then asking “What things do we really love and want to keep?”  we were surprised by so much STUFF, so little that we really cared about. 

We gave away most everything in our 3400 sq ft Milwaukee apartment. Carload after carload went to Goodwill, furniture and home furnishings were delivered to people moving into a first apartment or home.  It was wonderful to help others. And it felt totally liberating to hit the reset button on all of our accumulated belongings. 

When renovation of our Bay St Louis home is complete in September 2015 we’ll kedge into our retirement house with all new furnishings right down to new pots and pans …. sprinkled with those few things that made the Kondo cut in Milwaukee.



Here's what's left... 

Bay St Louis -- Becoming Bayrats

New Orleans has always been one of our favorite cities. We visited at least once or twice each year for the food and fun.  On each trip,  we’d visit Ning’s cousin Nora and her husband Ed, and we grew close with them and their growing family of five children.

When Ed & Nora relocated 40 miles east to the quiet, family-friendly community of Bay St. Louis, Mississippi, we were introduced to the charms of this small beach town.  No high-rise condos, no tourist shops. It was a stable community of 6,500 people, many of them New Orleanians with beach cottages, who enjoy a lively culture of restaurants and bars, music and the arts, and sailing and sifhing.  

We saw the town in the aftermath of Katrina and  we witnessed the community claw its way back to a new level of vibrancy. 

About four years ago we had a quiet epiphany. In retirement, we had the means to live anywhere in the world, but we wanted to become Bayrats. We were ready to put our roots down deep in a small. connected community.  

We bought a 110-year-old cottage in Old Town Bay St. Louis, just 1000 feet from the beach, as our home base in retirement.  A year later we bought the little cottage next door as a comfortable spot for family and friends to stay when they visit.

Fais Do Do in process

Fais Do Do in process

 And now our vision is becoming reality.  Over the past 18 months we worked with Ed (architect) and Nora (interior designer) to plan every detail of our main house and guest cottage.  



Front room before

Front room in process (do you think
we're crazy...?)

We lined up a contractor to deconstruct the house and rebuild it to exacting plans.  We're saving everything we can in an old house while making it fit our modern lives, too. 



Garçonnière is the guest cottage next to Fais Do Do

Before interior demolition began, we hosted a neighborhood party in our vacant home.  Tables and chairs were borrowed from the local parish. Food was catered by the local deli. And 50 of our future neighbors and friends came to celebrate another sign of the Bay coming back from Katrina.





Our first party!  We met so many fun people....

The Spiritual Aspect of the Camino -- getting prepared

Our Camino adventure has a lot of aspects to it.  It's a transition to a new life in retirement. It's a shared experience as a couple.  It also has a deeply spiritual meaning.  

We're in a profound meditation walking these mountain paths in Spain knowing that we're following in the footsteps of millions of pilgrims since the Middle Ages.  Sharing this experience and assuming they were as exhausted (more so!) as we are...

My Spiritual Director -- Sister Diane 

Sister Diane

A spiritual director helps one develop a closer relationship with God and to better discern how the Holy Spirit is leading in one's life. 

Sister Diane, a Franciscan Sister, has been my spiritual director for almost eight years.  She has guided me -- helped me through tough times -- and most importantly, inspired me.  

One of her key messages is to celebrate the moment. I think of her with almost every step on the Camino.  I live that step -- experience that moment - instead of rushing towards the mountain ahead.  

Joyce Rupp, also a Franciscan Sister, wrote a lovely book on the Camino, Walk in a Relaxed Manner, that focuses on this type of gratitude as well.  

Sister Diane, along with her other Sisters are praying for us on the Camino.  It means so much to us!  

The Pilgrim Blessing -- Father Mike
Pilgrims are traditionally sent off from their home with a special blessing.  Father Mike at our home in Bay St Louis, Mississippi, did this for us. My darling cousin Nora and her husband Ed were there, too.  

The Saints who walk with me

St Catherine and St Therese 

Many people who walk the Camino name their walking sticks.  I know I would not be able to do this walk without the support of my sticks - they get me up hills, they get me over treacherous ground, they're a blessing every day.  

St. Anthony and St. James
 (plus a tiny bit of bling added by me)

I named one stick St. Catherine Laboure (of the Miraculous Medal), the other is St. Therese of Lisieux (who has helped with prayer in my life in many ways).    

My walking shoes remind me of saints, too.  My left shoe is St Anthony (who has supported me as I did public speaking) and the right is St James (the saint of the Camino itself).



Tools of the trade

On the sleeve of my jacket

John bought me this Rosary - 

my friends had it blessed 

in Rome. Every medal represents 

a special person - a special prayer.

I pray the rosary as I walk.  

I also do the prayers  of the Divine Office as often as I can.

There is an iPhone app
that helps you pray the
Divine Office.  

  

A special gift

This pin was made 

by a woman in Athens, Greece.

I love all that the Miraculous Medal represents as a reminder of Mary's love for us and of her son, Jesus. We had 100 small pins made by hand with the scallop shell that represents the Camino, a commemoration of the year 2015, and of course the Miraculous Medal.  

We've given out 10 so far to pilgrims whose story has touched our hearts -- 90 more to go!

We're Off! Dancing Down the Camino....



“If we walk far enough," says Dorothy, "we shall sometime come to someplace.” 
― L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

 Logistical planning is complete and the 45 nights of accommodations are reserved. All walking gear has been tested, selected, and broken in.  Our pilgrim’s passport was authenticated yesterday and we lit a candle in Notre-Dame-du-Bout-du-Pont church. We bought a few small items at a pilgrim’s outfitter, more out of nervousness than need.




Our first stamp in our Pilgrim's Passport.
We'll need to get at least one stamp a day for
the entire time we walk the Camino.

Our Passports get stamped! 

In the cool, cloudy morning of April 17, 2015, we held hands and said our morning prayer. Then we walked through the Porte d’Espagne as have millions of pilgrims before us. We left St.-Jean-Pied-de-Port (literally “Saint John at the Foot of the Pass”) and headed into the Pyrenees, the first of what will be one million steps on the camino to Santiago de Compostela, Spain.


Showing us the way for our
first leg of the Camino.

 John Brierly, author of the definitive guidebook for our route (the French Way or Camino Frances), said “… the pilgrimage starts the moment we become conscious that life itself is a sacred journey, carrying with it the responsibility to act accordingly.”  


Here’s our every-morning Camino prayer, adapted from our wedding ceremony in 1996:

Dear God,

Please make our relationship a great and holy adventure.  

Help us remain young.

Bring us together in heart and mind.  Save us from darkness.

May this relationship be a burst of light.

We surrender to You our conflicts and our burdens. 

We approach You with humble gratitude for the great joys and blessings in our lives. 

Help us not to forget that You are the cement between us.

Thank you for this love.  Amen

St Jean Pied de Port is an ancient walled city.

Water fountains like this are all along the Camino.
Note scallop shell...

Pilgrims line up at the St. James Office to get started...

St. Jean to Roncesvalles …

"Do not fear to step into the unknown. For where there is risk, there is also reward." 



The beginning ---
St Jean Pied de Port, France

Here's our recounting of our first two days on the Camino, 

We had prepared for as many contingencies as we thought we could control. Books read, gear selected, itinerary set, physical training complete, blessings received. All that was left was to start walking. 

The morning of April 17^th, 2015, we paused at Porte d’Espagne, the gate in the walled city of St.-Jean-Pied-de-Port, France, from which pilgrims traditionally depart on the “French Way” to Santiago de Compostela, Spain.



Full of apprehension and nervous energy, we took the first of what will be a million steps into the unknown. Over the coming 45 days,  we’ll be walking a path we’ve never been on, commencing with the grueling climb over the Pyrenees.

Our early Camino impressions:

It's not always easy to see the Way...

Totally alone. During our first two days we encountered only three pilgrims. Most pilgrims start over the Pyrenees in Roncesvalles, Spain, to avoid the arduous French hike over the pass.

Searching for the path. In the footsteps of several million pilgrims before us we expected a clearly marked path. But repeatedly we had to stop and search for the yellow arrow. Rarely, we walked along busy highways, sometimes on quiet country lanes, but most often we were on quiet narrow paths following racing streams and cutting through deep forests. It’s with a sense of wonder that we’re on the same path used in the 12^th century.



Jackrabbit up the hills...

Tortoise and hare. John climbs a steep slope with a slow steady step at a time, no stopping until he reaches the top.  Ning charges up a ways, rests, and then charges ahead again until we meet at the top. John hears a Hail Mary drifting in the air from time to time. It’s our personalities in action.



We prepared for rain...

Personally challenging. Beyond the daily walking distance, there’s an elevation difference of 1000 meters between St. Jean and the alpine pass to Roncesvalles. The route travels across valleys and ridges so we’d lean into our poles to struggle step by step up a steep slope, only to give it all back again with a slipperly descent to the valley floor. When we reached the pass with its howling winds, famous for its link to Charlemagne and Roland, we just nodded and hugged. No words were needed to understand the bond that we had just forged in hardship..




The Church in Roncesvalles has a Pilgrim Mass
every evening.  The town only has 30 people...

Spiritual. Roncesvalles, Spain, is rooted in the Camino. Its church, monastery, and huge hostel send off tens of thousands of pilgrims each year. In this ancient setting we were touched to be called forward with dozens of fellow pilgrims during an evening mass for a Camino blessing in many languages.


Camino humor as you reach the top of the Pyrenees



Roncesvalles to Pamplona …

The first two days over the Pyrenees beat the tar out of us. We were rendered nearly mute from exhaustion and we spent the evenings soaking in hot baths followed by early dinners and bed. Even John who has run 10 marathons said the Camino is tough.


Walking is still tough



Remarkably to us, we wake each morning fit, energetic, and ready for what the Camino was going to deal out.


Days 3 and 4 are both 13-milers on rough trails.

Roncesvalles is the traditional starting point for pilgrims. So after our first two days of Pyrenees solitude, it was jarring to start Day 3 in Roncesvalles with a herd of pilgrims. We found, though, that pilgrims settle into their own pace and by early afternoon we were again walking alone. 



A route marker along the Camino



Brierly is the walking guide that all pilgrims use.  It DID NOT warn us, though, that days three and four were us tough as cresting the Pyrenees.  Steep foothills, scrambling over rocky trails, long descents on muddy slopes.

Finding a tavern with lunch

(they only served sausage...)

 is a great break during a 7 hour hike.



Beaten up again, at the end of Day 4 we shuffled into a four-star hotel in Pamplona and slept 12 hours in luxury.  The next morning we put in a huge pile of stinky, muddy trail laundry. Two hours later a tray of folded clothes returned.  Our own little Camino miracle...

We’re on to the next leg!



Classic photo from the Camino

Mea Culpa Mountains

[Ning] ... There’s a profound spiritual aspect to the Camino.  Now that I know I can do it – steep paths, long distances – there is more time for reflection. 

Living more than half a century, there has been a lot of joy in my life – but I’ve also made mistakes.  Hurt people.  Not reached out.  Been thoughtless and insensitive.  Mistakes that have caused pain. 

And as I walk, I remember. 

The concept of penance seems old fashioned – but it’s a core part of the Camino.  It’s often why people made the pilgrimage in the middle ages. 

My penance is in the mountains and steep hills.  I name the hill for someone I’ve hurt – a mistake I’ve made - and as I walk, I pray. 

As I walk, I feel the discomfort.  And as I walk, I hope contrition and blessing is felt by that named person.  I pray they feel God’s love in a special way.  And I begin to forgive myself…

Pilgrims leave rocks on Camino path markers to
symbolize leaving their burdens behind... 

If you’re reading this blog, I’m certain there is a hill – or will be a hill – in your name.  And I hope you feel the presence of God as I lift you up in prayer. 

Camino training

Training in Milwaukee

The majority of pilgrims do not train beforehand.   They simply step onto the Camino and start walking.  We represent a middle ground. We didn’t subscribe to a regimented training schedule but we did do some testing of ourselves and our gear so the Camino wouldn’t totally ambush us.

Ning proved her mettle early on with cold weather hikes along rough Milwaukee River trails.  

Selecting the right hiking gear for the Camino was a major concern. We ordered dozens of items from Amazon and returned most as we screened what would go on the Camino with us.  Ning tried at least 10 different pairs of shoes in her search for that magic combination of comfort, support, and a bit of princess style.

Along the Mississippi Gulf Coast...

While we were in Bay St. Louis in early 2015 Ning walked 10-miles in what she thought were her perfect shoes. Disaster!  Major blisters by Mile 8 and she finished the hike in her stocking feet. With the clock ticking down on our departure date she ordered some red Solomon trail runners and wore them constantly to break them in.

In March we spent a couple of weeks in Denver and took several confidence-building hikes on Green Mountain and Cherry Creek Parkway.  Her Solomons proved to be winners. 

On our cruise across the Atlantic we were the ship hamsters who looped the upper deck, 10 times around per mile. 

Madiera Island, Portugal 

While on Madeira Island in Portugal,  we signed up for a “moderate” hiking excursion along the lavadas (irrigation canals) to do some final Camino training.  “Moderate” translated into seven hours of scrambling up and down slopes on narrow, slippery paths with steep drop-offs to valley far below, all in a cold driving rain that took Ning close to her quitting point.

With all of that under our belt we felt geared up and ready when we stepped onto the Camino. 

We're now four days into the Camino and sobered by how tough this pilgrimage truly is. Two days on steep trails over the Pyrenees followed by two back-to-back 13-mile days on rocky trails.  

Our training certainly helped us through, but the Camino is already teaching us that we have to go beyond ourselves. We arrived in Pamplona on Day 4 by leaning on faith and each other.